based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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