I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize