Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
