Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
two words...techno handjob
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
