I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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