my vag is so smooth its legendary
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
