I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
