Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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