she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize