that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's blow job season.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize