I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
