The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
