He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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