he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
