Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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