The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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