I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This is the high leading the old right now
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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