Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Fuck appropriateness.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
