come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just had sex on a roof
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
