The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
