I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
