im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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