dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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