i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
