My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize
