There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
