He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize