How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
