elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We just shotgunned beers for America
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
