Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
