i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
