I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
