D3 body, D1 cock
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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