I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Vodka?
Forever.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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