Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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