Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
how drunk are you?
Several
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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