new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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