Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
