I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Never underestimate the power of titties
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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