I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
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Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
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So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize