Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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