Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
