If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
