honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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