I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize