She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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