I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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