Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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