I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
