Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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