I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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