He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
