I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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