Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
