there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
