how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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