You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Randomize
