So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
