she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize