So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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