But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
