Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
