And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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