you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Will you blow on my dice?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
