Just fell off a train. Bad.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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