If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
