remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
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