that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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